


Jealousy

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Rainbow Marbles [36]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Addiction, Broken Castiel, Childish Castiel, Crying Castiel, Cute Castiel, Demon Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sam Winchester, M/M, Punishment, Stuffed Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 22:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1874826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jealous Sam finds out that Dean is using Castiel's blood to shoot up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt by Gemini68: Jealous Sam finds out that Dean is using Castiel's blood to shoot up.

Sam lingers at the doorway, just out of sight. He’d asked to go to the bathroom – he technically didn’t _need_ to ask, but he’d taken to doing so ever since he’d first caught Dean shooting up with Castiel’s blood. It was easy to catch the slight tremble in Dean’s voice as he granted him permission, because Dean had been waiting for him to leave.

 

He watches as Dean pulls out a syringe, lightening fast. “Don’t tell Sam,” he begs, sounding strangely vulnerable.

 

“I won’t,” Castiel promises, wincing a little as Dean pulls the needle from his arm.

 

“Promise me,” Dean begs, eyes fluttering shut sticks the needle into his own arm and presses down.

 

“I promise,” Castiel assures him, thumb stroking his face as Dean becomes more and more human. Sam sees Dean lean into the touch and can’t help the intense flare of jealousy that rips through him.

 

He knows why Dean doesn’t use his blood. He knows that he’s impure, but he can’t help but feel like Dean doesn’t love him enough to want his blood, that Dean hates him so much that he can’t stand the thought of his own brother’s blood pulsing through his veins, that maybe, just maybe, he loves Castiel more.

 

Then Castiel’s eyes flicker to the doorway and their eyes meet. They both freeze, and then Dean’s eyes start to follow Castiel’s gaze and Sam knows that it’s all over.

 

Dean turns around and hides the syringe behind his back. “You’re back from the bathroom,” Dean says, as if that wasn’t obvious. Sam can see the desperate hope in his brother’s eyes, the way Dean’s whole body seems to shout, _Please don’t let him have seen anything._

 

Sam looks between Dean and Cas and then down at the floor and back again, wondering if he should say something or if he should just go on pretending his brother doesn’t love Cas more. “It’s okay, Dean,” he says after what seems like an eternity of their eyes boring into him.

 

Dean makes a broken little noise and Sam briefly wonders how he’d handle this if he weren’t high on humanity. On Castiel’s humanity.

 

“May I be dismissed?” He asks, folding his hands behind his back and hoping that Dean will just drop it and let him go.

 

“Yeah, Sammy, of course,” Dean says, voice shaking.

 

Sam doesn’t wait to see what happens next, just trudges back to the bedroom he and Cas share. He lingers in the doorway for a moment and takes a good look at the room. He sees Castiel’s side, all pretty purple with lots of shelves and toys and books. And then he sees his own. It’s blue and green and mostly empty and _horrible_ and suddenly he _hates_ Cas.

 

Cas, who got all of Dean’s love and affection. Cas, who had been obedient from the very start. Cas, who had made sure that Sam was just as broken as he was. Cas, whose blood Dean liked better.

 

Then he catches sight of Castiel’s favorite stuffed toy. It’s on _his_ side of the bed and he hates it because Cas loves it. Castiel kisses it goodbye every morning and falls asleep with it every night. The former angel _adores_ it, and Sam _needs_ it gone.

 

He rips it from the bed and tears its head off, and then rips off each of its limbs one by one. When he’s done, he looks up to see Castiel in the doorway, silent tears running down his face. “Sam...” He takes three steps forward until he’s at the edge of the bed, standing over the ruins of his toy and trying and failing to hold back tears.

 

Sam spins him around and throws him down on the bed amongst the broken limbs of the stuffed animal. Cas yelps in surprise. “I hate you!” Sam screams. “It’s not enough for you that Dean loves you more, is it? You have to rub it in every day, flaunting all the things he gives you while I have _nothing!_ ” He sweeps all of Castiel’s toys onto the floor.

 

“Sam, you’re scaring me,” Cas sobs.

 

“That’s because you’re _broken!_ ” Sam shouts.

 

Cas shakes his head and curls up as tight as he can. “I’m sorry,” he whimpers.

 

Sam stalks up to him and raises his hand high above his head. Cas cowers. Just as he’s about to bring his hand down to strike Castiel, a hand wraps about his wrist.

 

“What are you doing?” Dean demands, spinning him around and slamming him against the wall. “What were you thinking?” He asks, shaking his head. “How _dare_ you even _think_ about hurting him?” He backs away, looking so _disappointed_ that Sam wants to fall to his knees and begs for forgiveness.

 

Sam looks over Dean’s shoulder and sees the way Cas is shaking and sobbing and his heart falls. _He_ did that. He destroyed Castiel’s favorite possession and yelled at him and almost hit him. “Cas...”

 

Castiel just whimpers and hugs himself tighter. Dean turns his back on Sam and gathers Cas in his arms. He takes in the broken toy and sighs. “Sam did this?” He asks Cas. Cas nods, and Sam sinks to the floor, disgusted at himself. “Come on, Cas. I’ll take you to get a new one, all right?”

 

“But I loved that one!” Cas wails.

 

Dean picks up the broken limbs and the severed head and torso. “I’ll see what I can do, and you can still get a new one.” He turns to Sam. “Follow me.”

 

Sam rises wordlessly, and follows Dean down the hall to an empty bedroom that Dean had fitted to lock from the outside. Dean shoves him in and locks the door behind him.

 

Sam listens to the sounds of Dean’s gentle words and Castiel’s soft sobs until they fade away. He sinks down onto the bed and tries to go to sleep.

 

***

 

Dean doesn’t return until several hours later. He swings the door open and stands by the edge of the bed.

 

“I asked Cas what a suitable punishment for you would be.” He stares at the blank wall. “You know what he said?”

 

Sam shakes his head.

 

“He told me he didn’t want me to punish me. He said that you were just sad and that you didn’t mean to ‘kill’ his favorite toy or yell at him or tell him you hated him or almost slap him or do God knows what else. But obviously I can’t let what you did, or what you _almost_ did, go unpunished.”

 

“I know.” Sam’s heart falls as the silence drags on. He imagines all the horrible things that Dean will think of to punish him, every possible torture the demon could inflict upon him in exchange for hurting his favorite pet.

 

“I haven’t decided on a punishment, yet, because I’m not sure _why_ you would do that to Cas. You’ve been getting along so well. What got into you?”

 

“I was angry,” Sam lies.

 

“Want to try that again?”

 

Sam sighs. “It doesn’t matter.”

 

“Sam.”

 

“Fine! I saw you shooting up with Castiel’s blood, and I _know_ it’s not the first time. And, I mean, I know that I’ve got demon blood in me, but why did you have to hide it? I know that you love him more, but don’t you trust me?”

 

“You know that I love you both equally.”

 

“Bull.”

 

“You’re right; I do have a favorite.”

 

“I knew it, you l-”

 

“It’s you.”

 

Sam’s mouth falls open.

 

“You should know that I’d choose you over anyone else, Sam. Us against the world, right?” He puts his hand on Sam’s thigh and squeezes.

 

“I never... I didn’t... Why didn’t you tell me? About the blood?”

 

“I wanted to protect you, Sam.”

 

Sam turns away, ashamed. “I’m sorry.”

 

Dean turns Sam’s head until they’re eye-to-eye again. “I know. But you really hurt Cas, Sammy. He thinks you hate him now. And you ruined his favorite toy. He broke down in the middle of the store. And then we got back and he cried through dinner. He wanted to see you, but I said no. You do realize you almost hit him, right?”

 

Sam nods, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “I’m really sorry.”

 

“Sorry isn’t good enough,” Dean says. “I’d just like to remind you that I’d be far more severe if you actually _had_ hit him. But since you didn’t, I’m going to be a bit more lenient. You have two options, either a physical punishment or an emotional one. It’ll go on until Castiel forgives you, or until three days have passed, whichever comes _last._ I’m going to set a maximum of a month. Even if he still hasn’t forgiven you in a month, I’ll end it, all right?”

 

Sam nods again. “What are my choices?”

 

“That’s all you’re getting. I’ll tell you what they both after you choose.”

 

Sam takes in a shaky breath. “I want you to hurt me the same way I hurt Castiel.”

 

“So the emotional one?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Dean stands and steps away from the bed. “The physical one would have been forty spanks a day for the duration of your punishment. Just so you know.”

 

Sam shrugs. He’s not fond of spankings. Surely the emotional one can’t be that bad.

 

“You’re going to sleep alone for the duration of the punishment you’ve chosen. Cas will sleep with me. And until Cas forgives you, or until three days go by, no one will touch you.”

 

Sam can’t help the whimper that escapes him as Dean tells him his fate. “Is it too late to change my mind?”

 

“Afraid so.”

 

Sam bites his lip and tries to tell himself it’s not so bad. He’s gone his entire lifetime carefully avoiding all forms of human contact.

 

“You can’t beg Cas to forgive you before he’s ready. You can apologize however you want, though, and make it up to him in whatever non-physical ways you want.”

 

Sam nods and braces himself for the worst.

 

***

 

Sam asks Dean to be excused from his usual duties and spends the first day of his punishment hunched over the mangled remains of Castiel’s favorite toy with a sewing kit and dozens of spools of thread. By the time he gives it back to Cas, it’s as good as new.

 

Sam finds him alone in Dean’s bedroom. “I fixed it,” he says nervously, holding out the toy for inspection.

 

Cas smiles weakly at him and gingerly takes the toy. “Dean told me about your punishment. I’m... I’m not ready to forgive you, yet, but I promise I won’t make you wait the full month.”

 

“Take your time, Cas.”

 

Cas looks away. “Did you mean it? What you said...”

 

Sam reaches out for Cas but pulls his hand back just in time. “No... No, I didn’t. I couldn’t hate you, Cas. I love you too much. You’re my best friend, and so, so much more.”

 

Cas holds his arms out, then remembers Sam’s punishment and lets them fall to his sides with a sigh. “If you want, you can lay here with me, for a while.”

 

Sam lies down beside Cas until they’re just inches apart. “Where’s Dean?”

 

“He said he was going out and wouldn’t be back for a few hours.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Cas tentatively places a hand on top of Sam’s. “I want to cuddle, Sam.”

 

Sam pulls his hand away after a few seconds of contact. “We can’t.”

 

Cas stares at him for a few seconds before flicking his eyes towards the doorway so subtly only he can see. He feels something clench within his chest. So this is a test, and neither Dean nor Cas think he can pass.

 

“But Sam,” Cas whines. “I want to so bad. Don’t you love me anymore?”

 

Sam sighs, because he wouldn’t have passed the test if Cas hadn’t warned him. “I promise you that I will cuddle you as much as you want as soon as this is over. In the meantime, I’ll get you some warm blankets so you don’t have to feel lonely.” He rises, and feigns surprise when he sees Dean standing in the doorway.

 

“Did I miss anything?” Dean asks, and Sam has to struggle to hold down the hurt look that threatens to cross his face. Dean doesn’t trust him, but he hasn’t exactly done anything lately to deserve the demon’s trust.

 

“Cas wants cuddles,” he says.

 

A smile spreads across Dean’s face, but Sam can tell it’s only half-honest. “Does he?” He coos, walking past Sam with his arms wide open and scooping Castiel in a great big hug.

 

Sam barely restrains himself from following; he’d do anything to be next to them or in between them, to be part of the love they’re sharing. He hopes that Dean won’t be cruel enough to make him watch.

 

“Come on, Sammy. I don’t want you to feel left out,” Dean says, and for a moment, he thinks that Dean has changed his mind, but when he looks up, the demon is pointing at the empty space in the bed beside them.

 

He sighs and climbs in next to them.

 

***

 

Cas forgives him on the second day on the condition that he’ll keep reminding the former angel that he doesn’t hate him as often as he needs to hear it, and it breaks his heart that Cas is still unsure.

 

His skin crawls every time he sees Dean touch Cas, because he’s never wanted someone to hold his hand or pet his hair or touch his cheek quite so much.

 

In the middle of the third day, he starts to cry. Then he hears Cas ask Dean what his punishment for ending Sam’s punishment early would be. He doesn’t hear Dean’s answer, doesn’t need to because within a matter of seconds Castiel’s arms are around him and Cas is whispering soothing little sounds in his ear and telling him everything is all right.

 

***

 

That night, they all pile into Dean’s bed. Sam is in the middle and can’t quite tell where he ends and they begin.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

 

“I know,” Cas says against his neck. It tickles and he shivers.

 

“I’m sorry, too,” Dean says, and Sam’s heart skips a beat because Dean _never_ apologizes. “For not telling you. About the blood.”

 

“It’s okay, Master,” Sam says, nuzzling Dean’s chest.

 

They fall silent for a while before Cas presses his lips against his ear and says so low Sam barely makes it out, “You’re my favorite cuddle-buddy, anyway.”

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts/requests are welcome.


End file.
